Dr's Appt. Update

Yesterday I had another check up with the OB. You might not want to know this, but it's important so I'm posting it. My insides look really normal! With all the trauma My body went through this is really a blessing! I haven't talked a lot about to the extent of which I was sick, just that it was VERY serious. When I went into surgery they told Ryan they didn't know if they would be able to save my uterus b/c I was hemorraging so bad and had so much going on. Luckily, when they got in there everything went good and we are soooo very thankful for that. Sooo, now that you know all about my insides I'll move on. haha :). She said she was very happy with my BP yesterday, she said it just takes time. She said it looked much better yesterday. I go back in six weeks (April 21) and I will get to come off my medication then. She did say that if I start to get light headed or dizzy before then from my BP getting too low then to call and she'll adjust it or let me come off it at that time. Soo, it's a waiting game I guess. I know six weeks isn't a long time, especially with how time flies these days, but I am just not very patient. So basically a good check up, just things are going as fast as I would like.

Good news is Shea had baby Brody! He weighed in at 4lbs and 90z. He is in an incubator, but breathing on his own! That is def. an answered prayer. Her BP is still up and she is on medication for it, but doing great otherwise.

Well this is a quick update, I don't have too much to say.

A Bunch of Prayer Requests

I just talked to my mom and they are delivering Shea's baby today. Please keep them in your prayers. She is only 32 (maybe 33 now?) weeks along. They just can't get her blood pressure to come down. I know she is terrified so please just lift her up in prayer if you get a chance and for that precious baby too!

Also, did you notice my new blog design?! Mandy did such a great job on it! I'm sooo thankful to her! I love looking at BOTH my boys pictures every time I look at my blog! It just didn't feel right only having B on there... The bright colors are so perfect for spring too, not to mention they are my favorite :). So---thanks Mandy, you are such a sweetheart!!

My Papaw isn't doing very good at all... I know most of you know the story on him b/c I've talked about him on here before, but it's been awhile. His legs are skinnier than my arms... It's so hard to see my once full of life Papaw laying in a hospital bed in his bedroom, unable to get up and around... and he is in SOOO much pain. It's terrible to watch someone you love so much just lay there in pain, and you aren't able to do anything about it. He is on hospice and they are trying to keep him comfortable, but so far it's just not working too well and he is still having tremendous pain. It's hard because Brycen and Papaw are veryyy close too... and B thinks that Papaw will get better and be able to have water gun fights and stuff like they did last year when it was warm... he talked about this on our way over there on Saturday. Right now I don't have the heart to tell him any different. He knows Papaw is sick and doesn't feel good, but he doesn't know how bad it is... how do you explain that to a four year old? Especially a four year old that just lost the baby brother he prayed about for almost two years? (prayed to get one for a year and then prayed for Andon in my belly for 8 months). I know he is missing Andon sooo very much. He talks about him ALL the time and last night on the way home from my parents he said "momma and daddy let's pray about Andon..." His prayer went something like this-- 'Andon everybody misses you and we love you, but when we all come to Heaven we won't miss you anymore and I will be so happy and I will hug and kiss you'. It was sooo sweet and I love that he still thinks and talks about Andon. I want him to be an open subject in our family to talk about, but it really made me realize just how much he misses him too and that just breaks my heart.

So I really don't know where I was going with all that... just please continue to keep our family in your prayers. On the outside we might appear to be back to "normal", but our hearts are anything but such. We miss our little baby boy sooo much, but are so happy that he doesn't have to have any sufferings in on earth... that makes me especially happy now that I'm watching my Papaw go through all this... Precious Andon will never have to deal with pain! Please pray that we have the strength to continue to watch my Papaw go through this as well...

Oh yes, and I have a praise too! I guess I can post this on my blog because they put pictures up on facebook so it's public now! My cousin Todd & his wife Kayla that lost the twins back in October because they were born wayyy too early (22 weeks I believe?), anyway, most of you remember me talking about that. THEY ARE HAVING A BABY!!! She is due on October 22 (she had the twins on October 12). She is seeing her regular OB (the same one as mine!) & the high risk OB (the same one I will have to see) pretty much every week. Her cervix is too short and that's why she went into labor so early with the twins. They are going to do a cerclage (sp?) at 13 weeks (I believe she is 8 weeks or almost 8 weeks now). I am sooo happy for them! They need our prayers too though, because they are just sooo nervous... understandably so! I sooo hope that she has a long, healthy, uneventful pregnancy! The baby has a lot of little angels up in Heaven watching over him/her!

I'll leave you with a sweet picture of Brycen... he wants to be a police officer (like he is obsessed with them!) The sheriff came to his pre-school a couple weeks ago and he gave them these sheriff hats. Brycen LOVES it! He plays sheriff ALL the time.

(that's pudding all over his face, lol).

BR Vikings & A Good Saturday

Last night we went to watch Barr Reeve in sectional.... don't even get me started! Just want to say GOOD JOB to the boys! Thought I would share this sweet picture of my niece Hailey, Brycen, and nephew Jayce at the game! They are quite the Viking fans! Not sure what we will do if Brycen turns out to be a Charger... not sure that you can have the last name Knepp and go to Pike... haha!




Anyway, after the game we went over to Rich & Melissa's and ate some pizza and watched a movie. B & Isaac played... wow, those two are a handful when they are together! Greg and Lela were there too. I'm always so thankful for such great friends who love us so much. I had a pounding headache (wonderful hormones trying to get back to normal I think) and was glad to get home and crawl in bed.


This morning we slept in a little bit and then I got up and went into work for a couple hours... yah, I'm not really released from the docter to work yet, but I figure a few hours a week can't hurt... it helps me to feel better mentally when I use my brain. I came home and picked up B and we went to my parents. My mom and I went on a walk and B rode on his little scooter thing. The walking really helped my BP I believe b/c it's been great all day! Whoo hoo! I love this weather. Ryan cleaned out our "dirty garage" (that's what Brycen calls it!). I opened the windows and wow it just felt great! This weather really does me good. I could just feel the hope in my heart all day long. I miss Andon, but I could feel him here with us too, his smile in the sunshine. Matthew 5:4- Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted. Thank you God for the beautiful day.


This evening I am tired from doing more than I have in awhile, but I feel really really good. I think I'm getting back to "normal" physically, whatever that is. haha.... well and minus the five or so lbs I still need to lose! We are just lazing around this evening... that's nice for once!


I haven't heard anything from my mom about Shea & baby so I'm praying that's a good sign!

**I wrote this last night and couldn't get it to post for some reason. That's why it sounds like it does! Today we went to church & then to Ryan's parents for lunch. Now we are just at home, Ryan is watching the race and I'm doing this and watching B play.... Probably need to go give B a nap now! Tonight we're going to my parents for supper.

Please Pray

I just spoke with my mom and a girl (her name is Shea) that was a couple years behind me in school just had her 32 week appointment. They are sending her to the hospital to be observed for 24 hours b/c they believe she is going into pre-eclampsia. Her mom works at the school with my mom and she came to my mom really upset and was on her way to the hospital. Please, if you get a chance lift up this sweet girl in your prayers. I'm sure she is scared. Please keep the sweet little baby in your prayers as well. If the baby does have to be born 8 weeks too early please pray for his health.

This really hits home with me and I'm just praying so hard for these two! She will be at the same hospital that I was, so I know she will be getting great care! Her Docter is also in the same practice as mine. Ultimately, God is the Healer of all Healers and He is watching over them!

Be Still... again :)

Last night Ryan and I started in a new small group. We are studying the book "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. It was our first night and I already love love love it. My heart was just so full of love when we left there. I love connecting with people and I really felt that last night. Too bad we can't just stay in a little cocoon like that all the time, right?

I'm not working right now... and after today I don't want to go back at all! There is so much drama going on there at work... and I don't know how I am getting involved when I am at home, trying to heal mentally and physically... I am a worry wart by nature so even though these aren't my own personal problems I worry about them. I am also a "fixer" by nature. I want to "fix" everything... and even though I KNOW I can't, it's hard to sit back and not worry or try to fix... this is why I wish I wouldn't even know about what is going on! Seriously! I have enough to deal with... I really like my job and what I do, but I have no room in my life for drama! I want to scream ,"HELLO PEOPLE THERE ARE WORSE THINGS IN THE WORLD!!!!". But that might be a little much. haha.

Anyway, it just put a damper on my day... here i was enjoying time at home with B, enjoying the sunshine and warmer weather and praying pretty much all day for people, for myself, about our future, just praising God too and now I just feel like crying! Okay, so enough of my own drama... I got on here to blog, because I just needed to vent. The verse-a-day spoke to me... as always...

"The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."
Exodus 14:14 (NIV)

So there it is.... I come back to it.... "Be Still..." Yes, Lord, I hear you! I'm working on it! I need to quit thinking so much, quit worrying so much, and just listen... just hear God speak to me like only He can do. Thanks for the reminder God... obviously I'm a slow learner, I need lots of reminders! So today I'm thankful that we have a God who understands... he understands it all. No matter if what we're going through is big or small. No matter how trivial God knows what is on our hearts. I have a lot on my own heart, so thank you God for knowing, for caring, and for fighting for me. I'll try to be still. :)

Thankful Heart

I can't believe it has been one month today since Andon was born. This past month has really flown by. Which seems kind of funny since it kind of seemed like my world stopped when I learned he didn't have a heartbeat anymore and he'd already gone to be with Jesus... Guess it is funny how stuff like that works. Today the verse-a-day really lifted me up.

"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever."
1 Chronicles 16:34 (NIV)

We (our family) might be going through a difficult time, a valley in this earthly life, but we have so much to be thankful for. The most important is that we're all saved by the grace of Jesus Christ. We know we will be with Andon again, so no matter how heartbroken we are, we still have to rejoice and have comfort in that. This life is just for a little while (thank goodness!). We also have a precious four year old that is so sweet and innocent! I thank God for him many times a day because I know B gives me a reason to get up every morning. Like I've said many times, he is sunshine to my soul. Also, I'm thankful that God blessed us with Andon. Although our time with him was way too short for our liking we had time with him and our lives are so much richer for that. Something not quite so "deep", but I'm very thankful the month of February is over. I think with March comes signs of hope and life, spring is coming very soon! I am so ready for warm weather and sunshine. I think that no matter what we are going through in life, we still have to give thanks for the Lord, because He is good. Isn't there a saying that says "a thankful heart is a glad heart"? I've found that to be very true in life.

Wash or Worship?!

Today was the first Sunday we've been able to be at church in three weeks! I have been missing church so much. I was THRILLED to be there this morning! What a blessing.

On our way home I asked B what his Sunday School lesson was and what the scripture verse was. He said it was "Worship the Lord.". So I looked at his papers, and he was right, that was their verse. I asked him, "Well, Brycen how can we worship the Lord?" He said, without hesitation, "At the car wash." :)

We had to explain the difference between "wash" and "worship" :).

Thank you Lord, for this precious little boy, and for giving me the opportunity to teach him about You and Your Ways. Thank you for his sweet spirit and innocence and for his ability to bring a smile to my face and laughter to my soul. Amen.