9 weeks

This is our sweet baby at 9 weeks.

I had my appt. with the perinatologist today. He didn't say much we didn't already know. He does want me to start (and I have) taking an aspirin a day starting today. In some smaller studies this has shown to help women who might get pre-eclampsia. He said in larger studies it hasn't shown to help a lot with every patient, but he said it won't hurt to try. I also had a bunch more bloodwork... testing for a whole slew of other possible reasons I could be having the complications with each pregnancy. They drew 5 tubes of blood! At this point I'm showing, that's for sure... but no weight gain! I think I've been too sick and not craving sweets so that's probably why I haven't gained any, lol! Normally sweets are a regular part of my diet plan! :). He agreed with Dr. R that I won't go past 38 weeks they will for sure take me at that point if I make it to then. Dr. Fitzpatrick also said he was already familiar with my case b/c he had reviewed it for the hospital back in February... he told me I'm lucky to be alive. I know I've been told this before, but each time I hear it again, and especially from a high risk dr. totally removed from the emotions of the situation, it really hits home. I am very thankful to still be here for Brycen (and Ryan too, of course!). They did say my due date is March 1st, so that makes me 9 weeks today, which is a few days farther along than what I had originally thought. We were at the dr. pretty much all day. I don't have to go back to see him for another 9 weeks. That will put me at 18 weeks. I have a detailed anatomy u/s that day. I guess that's when we'll find out what the sex is, on September 28th. I do go back to see Dr. R next Wednesday.

weekend

I don't have anything to exciting... but I really want to do better about staying updated like I used to. Friday evening we went to my Granny's viewing all evening. It was a pleasant time, visiting w/ family who lives far away or we don't get to see often. Granny was ready to go... we will miss her, but we rejoice for her more than anything. My Papaw Shoultz (her husband) died in 2003, the spring of my junior year. We know she has really been ready to join him since that time. She looked just like herself laying there. It did sadden me a bit that Brycen didn't really know her. When her mind was still with her he was just a tiny baby and after that the alzehimers took over. But just like we talk about my Great Grandma Noland that passed away when B was only 2 months old, we will now talk about Granny Shoultz being in Heaven. His understanding of Heaven and death really just blows me away. He has had his fair share this year... more than any 4 year old really should, but he has taken it in stride. Lots of questions along the way, but we do our best to answer them. His faith makes me yearn to have that sort of faith. He talks almost every day about dying and going to Heaven to be with Andon. I think this sort of freaks some people out, but I just explain to him that we will die when God decides our time is up... and until then we still have work to do, telling people about Jesus so they can go to Heaven too. He really does seem to get that and I'm so glad. He's such a sweet little boy. I wish I could of protected him more from all this death that is around him, but it is just his reality and it has helped to shape his faith even more. I know he has concerns about the baby in my belly dying too. I can't really blame him- it's all he knows right now... he knew about my miscarriage and of course about Andon. He prays for the baby every night. I really hope God chooses for this baby come home to live with us and live a long happy life. Brycen is so compassionate and he will make a great big brother. Although at this point he won't even discuss the fact that the baby could be a girl... :) I guess I've gotten a little off course, didn't really have plans of talking about all this death... was just going to update on our weekend a bit.

Yesterday we got up and went to the funeral home for the funeral. The preacher was a little long winded and the kids got a little restless, but it was a nice service. Granny hadn't been able to go to church, but this preacher had been going to visit her in the nursing home. He said he could tell she loved it when he read scripture to her and also he has old gospel hymns on his phone and he would play those for her. It warms my heart to know that even when she didn't know much else about what was going on around her, she still knew Jesus' love for her. I really hope the service touched some of my family, some that still need a relationship with our Savior. After the service we went to the cemetary. Her and Papaw Shoultz are buried side by side now in this quaint cemetary in the middle of no where! It's peaceful and pretty. Brycen has a thing for looking at the "stones" as he calls the headstones. He wants to know who is on them... after the service family was talking and we were walking around looking at them and I was telling him people's names on them... I came across one and started reading... one couple had lost FIVE children. FIVE. I know it was the early 1900's and that was more common, but honestly, I'm sure that mother's heart broke just like mine did. I can't imagine burying five children. Another thing that got me was how if they were stillborn they didn't name them. That fact just really bothered me. I guess it was just common then... but I can't imagine just giving birth and then pretending it didn't really happen. Anyway, after we left there we went to my Papaw Ed's for lunch with some family. My Uncle (my mom's brother) has been working in PA a lot this past year so we haven't spent a whole lot of time with him so it was nice to hang out and visit with him. We got home and took a nap, which was much needed. I faired pretty well on feeling okay at least until we got home. We were just around the house last night thankfully.

Today our church was cancelled b/c of Anson Wagler's funeral. My heart really goes out to that sweet sweet family. Ryan went golfing w/ Rich Yoder and a couple guys this morning. B and I slept in and then just hung out most of the day. We went to my parents for awhile and then we all went into China Wok to eat supper. Probably not a good idea, Chinese doesn't settle well on a nauseated tummy! My Grandma is home from rehab for her knee so she got to go with us too. We're home now and I'm getting ready to hit the sack... ya know, go to bed! Tomorrow morning I have my appointment with the perinataloist. Ryan is going with me. My appointment is at 9 our time, they said to allow 2 hours. I don't think our appointment will take that long since it's mainly just a consult on the "what ifs", not a whole lot to check out right now. I'll let ya'll know how it goes and what he says. I hope he is nice. I'm glad Ryan is going along for this appointment. I'm not sure if I'll be getting and ultrasound or not. When they called to set up the appt. they said I would, but at my last appt. w/ Dr. R she seemed to think it was unneccessary at this point, so I guess we'll see. I wouldn't mind to see the little bean on the big screen again. I bet he/she has grown a lot in the past couple of weeks!

I can never think of a catchy title... :)

Well, the first couple pictures are from our 4th of July (just a little late!) lol. I didn't take them and had to steal them from Vanessa so that is why you are just now seeing them! Vanessa and little Tyler wanted to make Ryan a birthday cake so they did and the boys had fun singing happy birthday and blowing out the candles!

Boys! You can tell they are so thrilled to be having their picture taken! It made me laugh so I had to share it though :)

Friday everyone at work bought me a cookie cake and a plant for my birthday! It was Fri. since I left early on Thurs. I thought that was so sweet of them :) We all like to eat around here so we try to celebrate everyones birthdays (what a great excuse to eat cake!). We used to get DQ ice cream cakes for everyones birthdays... but since ours shut down we haven't been able to do that :(. BOO!

Friday night we had my birthday dinner at my parents. That went fine. Our good friends the Doerner's came for supper too. That was nice! Brycen got a four wheeler on Friday, but I don't have any pictures yet. The poor boy hasn't been able to ride it b/c a bolt was missing from the tire and we had to order it! BOO to that too!

Saturday I felt terrible all day and we were just around the house.

Sunday.... was really sick again all day. We did go to visit my Grandma a little piece that evening. I felt really bad b/c we hadn't been able to go visit her since the first night she has been at the nursing home for therapy for her knee replacement. She gets to come home this Saturday though.

Monday I worked and then we went over to my parents so Ryan could help my dad spread the new gravel they got. Brycen enjoyed a tractor ride :)
:)



We had BBQ from a new place in town. It was sooo good! YUM! We didn't get home until about 8:30 b/c they were working on the driveways.

Tuesday evening B had soccer practice. He just really loves it! He did pretty good (as well as a 4 year old can do!). Plus, he had a lot of fun, and that is what counts! He said "I wish I could stay at soccer for sixteen years!". haha :)

Yesterday we were home all day and it poured all day. We just layed around and watched movies in our pj's all day. When Ryan got home we got ready and went to Mason's for supper and then to Walmart... and of course had to have some Scoops before we came home!

My great granny Shoultz (my mom's dad's mom) passed away this morning about 4:30am. It is sad for another loss, but she hadn't been good for awhile. She had Alzheimers and didn't know a whole lot the past couple of years.

Today my mom and B came and got me for lunch and we went to eat at the mexican restuarant here in town. It's always nice to get to see B during the day for awhile! Next week is his last week to stay with my mom and then she goes back to work. She has to start back before the kids do. I really dread dropping him off at daycare every day again.

Our weekend plans have gotten changed and are now going to be spent doing funeral things. She was my last great grandparent living. I'm so thankful that I got to meet and spend time with so many of my GREAT grandparents even. Actually I knew all four of my Great Grandma's! And one of my Great Grandpas. That really is such a blessing.

anyway, I'm rambling, but I hope you all have a nice weekend.

My birthday brought good news!

I got this result on Father's Day... at only 3 1/2 wks pregnant! We were excited... but oh so nervous. I don't think Ryan nor I really believed it could be true. I've been through lots of blood work since then and already had numerous dr's appointments. Yesterday was my first u/s.

And I got to see Baby Knepp for the first time... AND HEAR the heartbeat. It was 144 bpm! It did bring us some relief to know that so far, so good. I'm also reluctant to be too excited b/c this time, I know there isn't a "safe" time to be pregnant. We already love this precious baby so much! It was the best birthday present ever to hear that sweet heartbeat.

We just told Brycen yesterday b/c we didn't want to tell him before we knew everything was going alright so far. He was excited! He also said he needs to teach this baby how to be a boy :) If anyone could do it, it's B!

I was 7 weeks yesterday. Last time they gave me a due date of March 4, but yesterday they said March 1st. She also said she isn't too worried about a due date b/c she will for sure take me 2 weeks early-- if I make it to then. I am seeing the perinatalogist on the 27th for my first appointment with him (Dr. Fitzpatrick at the Women's Hospital). I will see him along w/ Dr. Reisinger, my regular OB, throughout the whole pregnancy. I am considered high risk b/c of my past troubles and I do have a fifty percent chance of developing pre-eclampsia/HELLP again. With many more appointments, bloodwork, ultrasounds, and eyes watching me, they should be able to catch it early on though. I go back to Dr. R on the 3rd for my first regular OB appt. just to listen to the heartbeat on the doppler and all the "normal" things you talk about at an appt. I will see Dr. R on a pretty normal basis (i.e. week 10, 14, 18) until week 20 and then I believe she said I will start seeing her every two weeks, and then once I get to week 28 I will see her each week. Those aren't even counting the perinatalogist appointments inbetween! I'm not complaining. I think the more appointments and the more people checking me out the less likely of anything serious happening too quickly. The good thing is that PE and HELLP hardly ever show up until after wk 28. And since with B it happened at wk 38 and A at wk 34 they don't think mine will show up that early if it does decide to appear this time.

We ask for your continued prayers through this uncertain, nerve-wracking time for us. One day while waiting on lab results I was just a mess (oh yah, this is why my anxiety has been so high!) and anyway I was reading my devotions for the day and it hit right at home. It said something about how we just need to give our children over to the Lord b/c he cares about them and what happens to them, even more than we do. Um yah, thanks for the reminder, God, I needed it!

Hope you all have a great weekend... Tonight is my birthday dinner at my parents house! YUM! I have been very nauseated and not feeling well at all, so I'm hoping to feel like eating tonight!

Weekend, Shower, 31, and First Practice!

Well, I am trying to do a better job of staying updated on our day to day happenings. I used to do so good, lately-- not so much!! I haven't been feeling too hot lately so we haven't done too much. Friday evening we had that couples/family shower for our close family friends. That went really well and we got to visit with people who we don't see too often b/c they've moved so that was really nice. It was outside around their pool so it was very relaxed-- lots of good food (even a slushie machine, right up my ally!).

Saturday morning my mom had a jewelry party and I went to that. Then I came home and sat around with Ryan and B b/c it was such a rainy day. It did clear up later that afternoon and we all went swimming. Ryan and B went into town and rented us a couple of movies (well one for B and one for us). B loves going to the movie store and asks if we can go in about every time we go by there (which is a lot b/c it is on main street!). That night we just watched our movies and hung out.

Sunday morning we went to church and then to Ryan's parents for lunch (it was some of my favorites--meatballs!). Then my friend Chelsey picked me up at Ryan's parents so we could go to our friend Chanda's bridal shower. It was a very nice shower- for an even nicer girl!

Me, Brittany, Chanda (the bride-to-be), and Chelsey... we will all be old married women after Chan gets married ;)

Sunday when I got home from the shower Ryan and B were both napping. I crawled in bed and took a nap too! It was so nice to be able to do that. I needed it! We were supposed to go to my parents for my birthday dinner, but we didn't b/c they got caught in a huge storm on their motorcycle in Evansville! We ended up going to China Wok for supper(I highly recommend for the best Chinese food around and great very cheap prices!).

Yesterday was back to work- I was NOT ready! I just can't seem to catch up on my sleep. I worked all day and then last night just did laundry and light cleaning. Well, I did those things after Ryan, B, and I went swimming for awhile. I went to bed early last night!

Today was work again and then home to get ready for my 31 party that I had for my friend Melissa who just started selling it. It is really cute stuff! Brycen had his first soccer practice today. He was excited about going. Ryan took him since it was from 5:30-6:30 and my party started at 6:30. Ryan said he did really well about paying attention to his coach and everything. I'm sure it will be fun to watch them since they are so little. B had lots of stories to tell! Poor Ryan had to play "soccer mom" for me tonight ;).

B all decked out in his soccer gear before his very first practice!! I just think he looks way too old!

He wanted to take a "mean face" lol. Ryan said this is how he will intimidate the other team, haha! :)

I am really looking forward to my day off tomorrow and not doing much of anything! We will be sleeping in, hopefully swimming if the weather allows, and just laying around and playing. Sounds wonderful to me!! I hope you all have a great Wednesday!

Please let me know if there is any way in which I can encourage you or pray for you. I feel so blessed to have ya'll do the same for me and I want to make sure I'm giving as much as I'm getting. <3

UpDaTe In pIcTuReS

This is Brycen and I on our way to my cousin Nick's wedding in Greensburg, Indiana!
It was an outside wedding and thankfully it was a beautiful day. My Aunt Lisa and Uncle Tony brought Brycen this little fan that had lights in the center-- he thought he was hot stuff!

Ryan and I before the wedding started

The boys in the wedding wore kilts... My cousin's dad's side of the family (i'm related on his mom's side) is Scottish. Here is the guy that played the music. Brycen thought he was cool!
Brycen and my great uncle Jim (his great great Uncle). It is my Grandma Judy's brother. He is 80 years old and still rides a motorcycle :) Brycen and him are best buddies-- "because they both were boots"!

As you can see Brycen inhereited my love of elderly people :) He insisted on sitting with all of them at the reception! Great Aunt Deanie, friend of the family Diana, Gran Judy, Great Aunt Dixie, and Great Uncle Jim!
my momma and i dancing! ryan calls this "the cheerleader face" lol we had so much fun
My grandma Judy or "gran" as B calls her. lol, she can get down with her bad self ;) (yah she just had knee replacement on Monday, too much dancing) haha :)

My dad even decided to hit the dance floor (they were playing some of his favorite music!). I had never in my life saw my Dad dance so I was cracking up!

my cousin Ashley and I on our way to our shopping trip at Edinburgh the next morning

Brycen took Miss Hailey Brooke some flowers to her pageant :)

He rode in these cars after Hailey's pageant. He also rode the farris wheel with Hailey and Aunt Sonya.

On our splash park date with his two friends from pre-school

He wasn't shy about it-- ran through the water right away-- his buddies weren't too sure about it at first

His buddy Zach checking it out while the water was off for a minute... he really wasn't too sure! Brycen kept saying "Come on buddy!"

My little Goober :) His joy makes me smile!


Lilyan August Doerner-- we went to this little sweetie's first birthday party!

Like Father, Like son-- this cracks me up. Checking out the slip and slide at Lilyan's party

Once he did it he didn't want to stop!

Going down the slip-n-slide!

not much

I really don't have a whole lot to update on. Last Friday night I ran to Wal-Mart and then when I got home Ryan painted the laundry room for me :) That made me happy! We still have a few things to do in there (like new shelves), but i really love the color... lol, the funny thing is we let Brycen choose it and we thought it was hideous, but we weren't going back on our offer to let him choose so now we both (ryan and i) really like it! I'll take pictures when Ryan gets the shelves and all that done. It looks really unfinished right now.



Saturday on the 4th we didn't do much. Ryan went into work for awhile that morning. We got a new dining room table. I LOVE IT. Well, it is new to us. Some guy that they were doing cabinets for just asked Ryan if he wanted it! Awesome! We had been wanting a new table, but never wanted to spend the money for one since ours worked fine. Ryan sanded it down and refinished it and stained it and it goes GREAT in our dining room. It's a pretty new table (maybe like 5 years old?) and it looks brand new now that Ryan is done with it! After he got home we just hung out all afternoon. Our friends Clint and Vanessa and their little boy Tyler came over about 6pm. We grilled hamburgers and hotdogs and I made corn on the cob and cheesy potatos and then Vanessa brought a cake. It was all really good and we were all really stuffed! Since it rained all day and all evening here we just hung out at home. The fireworks at Otwell were cancelled b/c it was still raining here. The boys (tyler and brycen) played really well all evening and us adults just hung out chatting.



Sunday I did not feel good all day :( we didn't do anything all day. We did end up going to the demo that night b/c we had promised B we would take him. It was fun to watch him get excited about it (i really really love demos!). His favorite car got third place overall (but if you ask him, it won!) lol. Brycen got to ride a ride quick and then we came home and watched the fireworks from our front porch. We live about 4 miles away, but we could see them from our house.



Monday I was off work again b/c my Grandma had knee replacement done and my mom took her to have the surgery done so I just stayed home with B. We just hung out all day and played outside. It was a relaxing day. When Ryan got home I did go into work for a few hours to get some stuff done that I really needed to do. He had work to do outside so brycen loved that b/c he loves "helping". :) He really is getting to the age where he can be of help with some stuff, he just doesn't like to be told he is still too little to do some other stuff!



Yesterday I worked. It was weird being back after being off since Thursday. I had a desk full of stuff that I still don't want to think about b/c it is quite overwhelming. Since last Thurs. i have acquired FIVE new cases :( BOOOO!! That's a lot of work all at once. Last night B and I went with my parents to see my grandma in the hospital. She seems to be doing pretty good. She won't get out of the hospital until Thursday and then she goes to rehab for two weeks I think. We went to Wings and Rings to eat beforehand. I really like their food there. I felt so sorry for our waiter b/c he spilled our drinks all over himself. He felt dumb I could tell b/c he kept saying stuff about it... lol seriously, I could never be a waitress b/c I would drop the drinks everytime I would say! haha.

I should of gone to work today since I was off on Monday and I have so much to do, but I didn't feel like it. I stayed home and just layed around really. Felt terrible all day again. I am dreading tomorrow b/c so much work is awaiting me. Hopefully, it will be a productive day. Tomorrow evening we don't have plans, but our weekend is pretty booked. Friday night we have a couple's wedding shower, Saturday ryan's family is having some sort of get together and Sunday I have a bridal shower after church for a sweet friend!

Is anyone else feeling overwhelmed with "stuff to do" these days? I'm mean besides our normal to-do list like cooking, cleaning, caring for our families and working.... I mean the showers, the parties, the family get togethers...??? Is it just me? I feel like a whiner! I'm a homebody by nature. I always have been, even when i was young i would rather have people over to my own house to stay the night then to go to a friends house. I guess I'm just more secure at home. I really am no good at telling people no. And it seems that people get mad if you do say no. But I feel like all we do is run these days and I really do enjoy just being home with my boys more than anything. Advice? Or am I just being a whiner?! We have said we were going to cut down and only do something one weekend night... like do something on friday if we get invited but stay home on Saturday or vice versa, but that just seems to make people mad or hurt their feelings... I don't know what to do!

My anxiety... have to say is better than it was, but I am def. still battling it and dealing with it. It's such a struggle and it makes me grouchy. When i get nervous I get grouchy and feel really cut off from family b/c all I do is snap at people. i don't mean to. I really do try to overcome it, but it is hard. I'm not good at expressing my feelings to people and that makes it even harder. It is hard for me to admit that I am having trouble or feeling a certain way (okay, not so hard to admit on a computer screen, but I mean person to person). It all just seems like a lot to deal with.

Summer is just flying by. I can't believe it is already almost the middle of July!

Update on Us :)

I realize I haven't been very good at updating... I've had a lot going on and a lot on my mind! I've actually sat down to post a few times, but it just didn't feel right. It drives me crazy not to keep things updated though!

I'll start off with where I left off-- the 17th of June I believe! That day I went to record my testimony at Antioch. I think it went ok. I hope it helps someone. After that B and I swam all day. Then that Wednesday night we had a pot luck dinner at Dave and Rhoda's for our last night of our small group. It was really sad for me for it to be over. Those people and that group has got me these last 5 months-- the hardest months of my life.

That Friday night we went to Shawn and Audrey's for pizza and to visit! It was really fun and nice to visit with them (plus we had Fatboys, which is like the best pizza ever!). We had to leave pretty early b/c we had to get up early the next morning. We left early the next morning to go up to Greensburg for my cousin Nick's wedding. My aunt and uncle and their daughter and her boyfriend followed me, ryan, brycen and my parents up there. It was fun! We stopped for lunch on our way. When we got to our hotel we let B swim for awhile and we rested and then we headed to the outdoor ceremony that was held at the bride's house. It was beautiful!! I have lots of pictures, but I'm not uploading any pictures today, soooo ya'll are going to have to wait on a major picture upload post! Then we went to the reception and danced the night away! Seriously-- even my dad danced-- and that just doesn't happen! My grandma- if you know her, well she is crazy and we love her and watching her get down w/ her bad self was just hilarious :) I'm glad she is having a good time, even while missing my Papaw. After the reception we went back to the hotel and then we went down the hall to my Aunt and Uncle's room and ordered pizza and hung out just enjoying each other's company. The next morning we got up and all went and ate breakfast together (after sleeping in!). Then all the boys came back together and my mom, aunt, cousin Ashley, and I went on over to Edinburgh and went shopping!! Fun!! :) Seriously, it was the best weekend I've had in a long time. I really love being with that part of my family. We were missing my cousin Todd and his wife Kayla though :( they aren't allowed to travel at this point b/c of her history of pre-term labor. On a good note now-- they have made it to 24 weeks and her sitches in her cervix are still holding tight! They are passed the time when she had the twins! I am so happy they are getting this far. Anyway, that night when we got back we had supper at my parents for father's day. We didn't stay long b/c we were worn out! Oh yah, Ryan's birthday was the day before (the day of the wedding). Ryan and I gave him his present on Friday before we left.

That Monday night (the 22nd) we had family pictures with Abby out at her parents house. I think they went okay (even thought it was 100 degrees, literally!).

The next night we went to the fair at Elnora to watch our niece-- little Miss Hailey Brooke in the little miss pageant. Her and Brycen rode a few rides afterward. (I also got to see Courtney and Miss Leah at the foodstand for the WHS dancers! They made a mean taco in a bag :))

The next day I was off and Ryan and I just hung out by the pool all day.

That Friday Ricky and Brittany came over for snacks and to visit. It was a fun evening of catching up with good friends.

The next morning I took Brycen to the splash park in Petersburg to meet a couple of his little friends from pre-school. He had a lot of fun and was worn out afterward! We got McDonalds for lunch and then came home for a nap. We also gave the dog a bath that afternoon. lol, our dog is an outside dog and she just doesn't get baths, but she actually liked it and it was fun for B! That evening we went to our friends' little girls' 1st birthday party. Her name is Lilyan and she is soooo cute! I can't believe she is a year old! Afterward, we stopped in to see our friends' Clint and Vanessa's new house. It is so cute and I was glad to see it. Sunday morning we got up and went to church at the park in Odon. It was such a nice service and the weather was gorgeous that morning. Odon has a really nice park! We went to Ryan's parents for lunch and then came home and B and I took a nap and then we went to my parents for supper.

This week has actually seemed like we haven't had as much to do which has been nice for once! Wednesday I got the house spotless and all the laundry done. It seems like I haven't been able to get/keep caught up since vacation so it was nice to feel that way! That night I also started watering flowers and feeding my friend Chelsey's cat for her while they are on vacation this week. She did it for me while we were on vacation so i really enjoy repaying the favor! Last night we went to my parents for homemade pizza. We didn't stay long, but the pizza was good! This morning I got up and took B to my grandma's to sleep for awhile and my mom and I went to a few yard sales. I found some good deals! I'm a sucker for a yard sale and haven't got to go to hardly any at all this year so I was excited to be off today! Tonight we are just hanging out at home and enjoying it! I have to run to walmart when ryan gets home (b/c brycen doesn't want to go, he said he just wants to stay home and play-- and honestly as much as I hate walmart, i don't blame him!).

Oh yah and we got the paint for the laundry room-- so stay tuned for updates on that :)

Thank you all for all your prayers for my anxiety. It goes and comes these days, but I'm doing a little better.