Brycen cheesing-with his grilled cheese sandwich! We went to eat lunch w/ my momma at work.

B & Momma hanging out :)

Yes, he has on pajama's and cowboy boots! His puppies were outside playing and he couldn't wait for me to change his clothes to go outside and play with them! (all the puppies are gone now except the one we're keeping!)

Brycen and Daddy playing ball, not sure who enjoyed this more :)

look at that stance! he sure makes his daddy proud :)

he cut his own food at Mi Pueblo without even being asked to do so! he did a great job too! (Yes, Ryan made fun of me for taking a picture of this!)

Catching Up...

I keep bringing up a new post to write and then nothing comes to my mind... I have a lot on my mind, but I guess the words just aren't there to share anything yet... unusual for me, maybe that's why it feels so weird!

Last Wednesday I was off and Brycen and I just stayed around home all during the day. I cleaned and did laundry and then we played and just hung out all day. Ryan got home and I fixed supper and then we had our Love Language group that night at Dave & Rhoda's. I cannot even tell you all how much I enjoy it! I look forward to it every week, definitely a highlight of my weeks right now. In Sunday School a couple weeks ago we talked about how there are just some people that you come across in life that make you just want to be better, they are just such a ray of light to be around. Rhoda is one of those people for me for sure. (i'm not saying that b/c i know she reads this either- i mean it with my whole heart!).

Thursday was an emotional day for us. We had to go pick out the gravestone for Andon. I have been putting that off. I think why I was putting it off was because, like I told Ryan, it feels like the last thing we really get to do for Andon. We don't get to buy him birthday presents or christmas presents or buy him a toy for learning to go potty or a new bike... no, buying a gravestone makes it pretty final. I love everything that we did on it. Instead of just putting "son of ryan and chelsa" we had them put "Beloved Son-Brother of Ryan, Chelsa, and Brycen". I couldn't leave B's name off. Like I've said numerous times before, he is heartbroken too. He has been a part of everything else and I didn't want to leave him out on this either. The guy did say if, no-make that when, we have another child we can add their name to the brother part. On the back we had them put ...Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. -Mark 10:14
After we did that we went to Ryan's parents and ate Stop-n-Sea for supper & then I had to go to a meeting at church for the new church directory committee. While I was at my meeting Ryan & Brycen got haircuts from Marilyn.

Friday after work my mom, Brycen, and I went to Washington to Wal-Mart & then to eat at Mason's (YUM!). We brought Ryan's food home to him. Friday evening we didn't do anything. Saturday morning we got up and did stuff around the house. That night we went to my cousin Todd's and his wife's Kayla's for supper and to visit. It was a fun evening and relaxing too. It's nice to be around people who just get you and understand everything. They've had 4 months more experience at this then we have. They are so supportive and loving and it's just nice to not feel so "alone" in this... I KNOW that many other people have lost babies, but it's different to actually sit and talk with these two people that I love so much and know that they just "get me" they understand and I don't feel so weird! Don't get me wrong, we totally appreciate everyone else's support too, but like MckMama calls it, we're now in "the club".... ya know, the club of mothers who have lost children.

Sunday we had to get to church early b/c I worked the sign up table for church directory photos. That seemed to go really well! Sunday was also a big day for us, as we became "official members" at Berea! It's so nice to feel so accepted. I'm so content with our church. I think God really did lead us to Berea back when we were searching for "our fit". We had to run by Wal-Mart after church & then we went home and watched a movie. Then B & I took a nap. We went to my parents for supper (taco soup, one of my favorites!). After supper we ended up at the ER with Ryan... All week he had a headache that just WOULD NOT go away and his BP was running high. Yah, ironic that mine goes back to normal and his goes up... High BP runs in the men in his family (dad & grandpa). That night his hand was tingling and his face was tingling and he felt nauseated. He wasn't too happy with me, but I didn't really feel like becoming a widow at age 23, so I made him go to the hospital to get checked out. His BP was 167/99 when we got there. His grandpa had strokes earlier on in life so I was just not taking any chances. They ran a few tests and everything came back looking normal. They gave him something for his pounding head & told him to keep a log of his BP for a week and if he continues to have problems then to see his family dr. So far this week it has been doing better. PTL. His cousin Darla was working in the ER when we went so it was nice to see a familiar face! And both of the guys that ran tests on him were BR graduates. It is a small world!

Yesterday after work Ryan changed the oil in the lawn mower and sharpened the blades, getting ready for spring (although he did already mow once last week!). I fixed supper and B played outside on the porch. Yesterday was B's first day back at daycare. He said he had a lot of fun and they said he did great. I'm glad about that, because I was worried after being out for so long it'd be hard on him to go back. He can write all his uppercase letters and I hadn't really worked on the lower case ones with him. Yesterday they worked on those and his teacher was bragging on him about how good he did on his lowercase y's and r's (sorry, proud mommy moment!). This is the same child that wanted NOTHING to do w/ writing his name awhile back. Just goes with my theory of kids do things in their own time, when they're ready. Our evening last night was relaxing... supper, laundry, bubble bath for mommy, and then B's bath, then I actually got to read some! Brycen has always liked being read to. He got a new Children's Bible and we've started reading out of it every night at bedtime (all three of us lay in B's bed and read). I love this sweet time with our precious little boy. I love how he just soaks it all up!

Well, this post is wordy and again without pictures because the dumb blogger STILL won't let me upload pictures... go figure!

Friday at Kohl's I found a bunch of good deals! I was excited about that. Friday night we went over to Rich & Melissa's for Rich's birthday. Shawn and Audrey and the girls and Greg and Lela were there too. I always enjoy hanging out with such sweet friends :) .



Saturday morning I got up early and went into work for a few hours. When I got home it was such a beautiful day out. We played with the puppies and worked around outside all day. Ryan and Brycen also took some time to play ball (I don't know who enjoyed it more!). haha. Saturday evening we went to visit my Grandpa for a little bit and then went to Mi Pueblo for supper.



Sunday we went to church & then had dinner at Ryan's parents. We went home and the a lady came to pick up the last puppy (well besides the one we are keeping). That's a relief to know they all have good homes now and we don't have to have a hundred dogs! lol. Sunday evening we went to my parents for supper and to visit. Brycen stayed the night b/c my mom is keeping him this week while I'm back to work, yep you read that right, I'm back to work.



Yesterday on my first day back it went well. My morning did not start off good though! My alarm didn't go off, I left my cell phone at home, my whole purse dumped out in the car on the way here...etc.etc.etc. The devil was trying to get to me for sure. I believe that with my whole heart. BUT I didn't let him! I had a good day back. I missed Brycen of course and would rather be home with him, but the day went well! Last night I didn't realize how tired I was until I sat down after supper and was folding laundry. Then I could of just fell over I was so exhausted! Needless to say I went to bed early last night!



This morning B was back to stay with Mamaw Reece (my mom). He really enjoys it there, he's never ready to come home! They always do fun stuff. Yesterday I called to check on him about noon and he said, "I gotta go momma, I'm being a worker man!". It was too cute. They working outside doing some stuff and he was too busy to talk (sounds like his dad, haha!). Today after work I have to meet Ryan at the eye dr. he has an appt. and then wants me to help him pick out his new glasses. I never understand that either, they make you blind as a bat and then ask you to pick out new glasses?! He really needs new ones bad, his are a mess from work and quite old b/c last year he was too stubborn to go back and pick new ones out after his appt.! Hopefully we'll find some nice ones he likes!

***Ok, well I've been trying all day to get pictures to post and it won't!! UGH!

update :)

I have so many pictures I want to post- but our internet at home is super slow (and no we don't even have dial up!). We have been enjoying this beautiful weather sooo much this week and I've gotten back into the groove of taking lots of pictures (plus I had to get a new camera b/c my old one broke so I was excited about using it!). lol :).

Tuesday B had pre-school and then from 11:30 until 5 we were outside playing and I got almost an entire book read! I have the tan lines to prove it to! haha. We went to revival at church that evening.

Wednesday B had pre-school, then we went to Pike Central to eat lunch w/ my momma and then we came home and were outside all afternoon again! When Ryan got home I went to work for a couple hours and then we went to revival again. We went to bed thinking everything was fine... until about 3:30am... then Brycen came to our room PUKING. ewww. I felt terrible for him. The poor boy just kept crying and saying his tummy hurt. He has never had the flu before this so he didn't know what it was like. It was a long rest of the night to say the least. And yesterday... we spent more time IN the bathroom than out of it. This morning though he is as good as new!!

Today we are going to Vincennes to eat lunch, go to walmart, and do a little shopping at Kohl's (i really like that place!). We are going with my mom in a couple hours so that should be fun. Yesterday while Brycen WASN'T in the bathroom I got his closet cleaned out and the summer stuff that still fits or was too big last year hung up in his closet. It always makes me happy to have clean, well organized closets. Lol, I'm a geek.

This is my last day at home. I'm attempting to go back to work on Monday. I was looking forward to it earlier, but now that the weather has been so nice this week I'm dreading it. But I feel like I need to save my time off for later if I need it... since I'm doing fine I will go back. I've been working about 5 hours a week to keep at least a little bit on top of things, so I'm hoping it won't be too terrible to go back. I'm a little bummed b/c it's B's spring break from pre-school, but he will be staying with my mom since it's her spring break too. he is really excited about it and I know they will have lots of fun!

My grandpa isn't doing well at all. The hospice nurse said he would give him about a week to live (this was on wednesday). As we all know, God knows my Papaw's final day. I'm not ready to say good-bye, but I'm ready for him not to suffer anymore. And I don't know if you really get to do this in Heaven, but I want to believe with all my heart that he'll get to hold my precious little Andon baby! Please just say a prayer if you get a chance that these last days/weeks whatever it might turn out to be will be filled with peace for our family and for my papaw.

I also have a wonderful praise! Yesterday I called the Dr. b/c my BP was getting pretty low and making me dizzy. She told me not to take my pill yesterday and see how it did. Well PTL it was normal all day! The highest my bottom no. ever was when I took it was 78! Awesome! Considering just last week WITH medicine it was continuly running about 85. I'm so excited to be medicine free and seemingly HEALTHY!

Well, I better go, as we speak Brycen is running around the chair singing "I've got Jesus in my heart and he forgives my sins, when I go to Heaven when I'm old then I'll kiss you and hug you Jesus". Amen precious child, i'm so glad he does this, it's sunshine to my soul to know he understands grace as much as a four year old possibly can!

sums it up...

The verse-a-day pretty much sums up my life right now.

"Don't be afraid; just believe."
Mark 5:36 (NIV)


I think I have a lot of things I COULD be afraid of but I'm choosing not to be. I'm choosing to believe.

Don't get me wrong, it's not something I can do easily... I have to make the choice about a million times a day~ but with God's guidance that's exactly what I'm doing. I'm choosing to believe in His plan for my life & waiting to see what the future holds. I wonder about the future, but I want to live each day as it comes.

Quote & Due Date

I found this quote on someone else's blog that lost a baby recently. It makes perfect sense to me & brings me great comfort. Tomorrow was my due date with Andon. I'm not sure how I will feel tomorrow and really I don't know how I feel right now, except I know that I'm immensly sad that I have to wait so long to see precious baby, but also hopeful of our future here. I looked at some pictures of Andon today and just longed to hold his fat little fingers (he had my fingers!).
“There is nothing—absolutely no circumstance, no trouble, no testing that can ever touch me until, first of all, it has gone past God and past Christ right through to me. If it has come that far, it has come with a great purpose which I may not understand at the moment. But as I refuse to become panicky, as I lift up my eyes to Him, and I accept it as coming from the throne of God for some great purpose of blessing to my own heart, no sorrow will ever disturb me, no trial will ever disarm me, no circumstance will cause me to fret, and I shall rest in the joy of what my Lord is. That is the rest of victory.”

little update on what we're up to

This week has been busier for us then a lot of the past weeks. I've been trying to take it easy, but that's not easy to do when life is so busy. I started getting sick on Monday and by Tuesday night I was pretty sick :(. I had a fever and all. No fun. Wednesday all day I felt terrible, but my fever was gone so we went ahead to small group that night. It was good to get out of the house and be around people who care about us. Yesterday I woke up feeling quite a bit better. I took B to pre-school and when I picked him up we went to Wal-Mart to get groceries. Yesterday evening we went to our preacher's for supper- we're making it official and becoming members at Berea. I'm sooo excited about it! Supper was great and B had so much fun b/c Eddie has a TONNNN of toy tractors- and those of you who know anything about B know that he lovesssssss tractors! Today I got up and cleaned. Brycen slept in so I was able to get all my cleaning done before he woke up which was nice- went much quicker that way. When he got up we got ready & went to Washington. I took B to McDonalds for lunch & to play. He was such a good boy all day today. I ran into a "blogging friend", Jamie T., at McDonalds, nice to actually talk to people in person, when you feel like you're "friends" anyway! :). When we got home we made cupcakes. YUM. Not the best thing to make though when you still have 5lbs to lose and love cupcakes! haha. I made supper and our friends Brittany and Ricky came for supper and to visit. Our friend Chelsey also stopped by to visit for a bit--such a nice evening! I feel like being anti-social at times, but always feel much better when I'm around people. Well, I need to get to bed, I have to go into work for a little while in the morning to get the payroll done. I haven't been very good at posting pictures, but our internet here at home is sooooo slow when it comes to uploading pics. Hopefully, I'll get back into the swing of things soon.