Hello! Tomorrow I go for my first ultrasound... I'm pretty calm about this for the most part, but I'm having "moments" of terrible anxiety about it. I wasn't going to blog about this... but ya'll and your comments usually help me to feel more "normal", whatever normal is. lol. I'm so scared that I'm going to go and they are going to tell me something is wrong w/ the pregnancy or something like that... I know it's pretty irrational, BUT I just remember the heartache after my m/c and don't want to go through that again. I'm so thankful that for the most part I'm pretty calm about tomorrow, but like I said, I do have my moments... after all, I am human. I'm just not sure I can take any bad news.
For the good news, well not so much fun, but to me it's a sign that my body is doing what it is supposed to! I feel pretty terrible! I am nauseated (no puking, just wish I could at times!). I have terrible migranes (which I get anyway, pregnancy just makes them worse), AND I'm super tired. I know these are signs that my body is doing what it is supposed to, so they actually are a comfort of sorts (not that I like feeling like I could puke @ anytime though, don't get me wrong, I'm not that weird!) haha. It's harder the second time around when you have a three year old that demands your attention and you can't rest when you need to. Ryan and Brycen are both being pretty great about it though... I don't feel like cooking much supper, b/c the smell of food just isn't great for a nauseous person. I'm glad I have a sweet husband that doesn't mind sandwiches :)
ALSO, I am getting a BABY POOCH. Yes, ya'll can say it's in my head or whatever, but I am SO serious! Ryan has noticed, and even the girls at work have noticed. The dr. told me at my last appt. to expect to show sooner, I just didn't realize how soon she meant! Of course if I wear a looser shirt you can't tell, but if I pull my shirt tight or wear a tighter shirt, the baby bump is starting to show, for sure! I am going to look like a haus later on, I'm quite sure! lol. I didn't show AT ALL with Brycen until I was six MONTHS not six WEEKS. lol.
Anyway, enough of my rambling!
4 comments:
I think its totally normal to be nervous about an apt. I think I was somewhat anxious before all of them. I think it means we're good Mommies. You already love that lil peanut in your belly and want to make sure its ok. It has nothing to do with you. Keep taking care of yourself and eating sandwiches! haha :) I can't wait to see that "pooch" your talking about! I bet its cute... fill us in on your us tomorrow!
Just give it all to God Chelsa. Trust me on this! We as human's don't even have the words to settle the anxiety you may be going through right now...but when you give it all to Him you will feel so much better!!!! It's only nature to feel the way you are. Start praying and I know He will give you answers soon :)
Just wanted to drop a little note for you. I will say an extra prayer for you guys that your appointmetn will go okay and everything is going according to plan.
I started showing early with Izabelle...I think the minute I told Matt that I was pregnant, my jeans did not fit. It was quite hilarious.
I try to put myself in your shoes after trying and already losing a baby. (I can't imagine most of the pain that I imagine goes with the latter experience). Cut yourself a break, if you feel it, it's normal someone else out there does too. At least you realize you have the feelings, then just pray for God to search you and find anything that's there that He should be handling. God is patient. What I may not be saying the best is I make it harder on myself wondering if I should be feeling it. Once I realize I just am, then He can show me His way to handle what ever it is.
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