Trying to find our "fit"...

We have been considering this for quite awhile now, but it's a major decision and has taken a lot of prayer, but we've finally (with God leading us) decided to try out a new church... well, not totally new, but to switch, nonetheless.

I'm a little nervous about this decision and why God might be calling us out of our "comfort zone", but I'm okay with it. I just hate feeling like an "outsider", even though I will already know people, it still seems to take awhile to find that place where you just "fit".

I was raised in Brenton Chapel Church of Christ. It was a pretty conservative church. No music besides your own voice allowed (i.e. no piano, organ, guitar). Beautiful voices raised to Jesus only. I was also taught that I needed to be "older" to be baptized... something I've come to disagree with now, but something I deeply respected for a long time. Not something I will be teaching my own children. Women were only to wear long skirts to church. And only men allowed to do anything in the church (leader wise). Some of these things I still agree with. Our preacher is the one that married Ryan and I (sweet little old man that was 87 when we got married 3 years ago and still rides horses to this day!). I went to this church w/ all my family, parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins... etc. It was a small church and almost everyone was related in some way or another. I LOVED this about my church, I had my "fit".

Ryan was raised in Bethel Mennonite Church. It's more on the conservative side of the Mennonites. Not the most, but def. more so than some. I can't speak for all their beliefs, but I do know that Ryan and I were raised almost exactly alike and to have the same beliefs. He was 15 when he was baptized. A lot of Ryan's family also went to Bethel. He was involved in the Youth for quite awhile.

During my high school years my parents started attending Antioch Christian Church (huge change from where we had always been). I had been there on occasion through out middle school w/ a family my family is very close with. I had done a lot of activities and camps and things with their youth. I liked being involved in their youth, but the church was sooo different from how I had been raised. It was soooo big! I was used to small!

When Ryan and I started dating when I was 15 we switched every other Sunday by going to Bethel and then either going w/ my parents to Antioch or to Brenton Chapel. This worked while we were dating. We had an outside wedding~ which is what I had always dreamed of, so we didn't have to worry about what church to get married in. Our reception was at Bethel & then like I said our preacher from Brenton Chapel married us, so we had a little of all of it in our wedding/reception and all of that!

Once we were married it was a hard decision to make on where to go... I hate saying it but when we were first married we missed way too many Sunday's just b/c we didn't feel like we fit in anywhere. Brenton Chapel was so small that there wasn't any Sunday School programs (for Brycen) and I still didn't want to go to Antioch (to big, plus w/ both of us being raised pretty conservativally it just didn't seem like the right fit), and Bethel was just so far away (about an hour away from our house). Those sound like excuses to me at this point in my life, but then it was such a time of change and I just wanted to fit in... so did Ryan. My best friend's dad is a preacher, and they invited us to their church in Petersburg. I had been to Bible School there when I was little so I was familiar with a little bit of it. We decided to try it out. It was good, I felt like my starving soul was getting some food! They had a nursery and Brycen did good in there, eventually when he turned 2 he was able to go to Sunday School class (he loves it!).

There have been some sermons that I've left really questioning what was said. And that I KNOW Ryan was upset about. Things have been going on that we have not liked... (our youth pastor was arrested for child molesting, he worked w/ the teenagers). That situation in itself just hasn't been good. I know every church has its problems and I'm not looking for the "perfect" church, but I'm looking for a good God-fearing, Jesus Loving, People feeding church. I want to be INVOLVED. I don't want to just sit on Sunday mornings and then go about my week... I want a small group, people to feel connected to. At our current church we do not have that. We have no family and very few friends, don't get me wrong, people are friendly, but I'm talking about true friends, people you can call to tell happy news, or call on in a time of need. In my job (i work in the prosecutor's office) I see a lot of hurt, and a lot of bad every single day. I don't want to go to church & see those same things happening. The one thing that has been holding us back from going to a different church is that Brycen lovessss and I mean lovessss his Sunday School class and his teacher, for that matter, I love her too. I know she loves Brycen and she is a good Godly woman w/ kids of her own. She has helped us to teach him so much and I WANT him to look forward to going to church. If we miss a Sunday, like we did two Sunday's ago to go to Indy, Brycen CRIES when we tell him that he won't be in class that morning. Now, that's what I'm talking about, that's how I want him to feel about going. He loves it that much! This little boy, my own little man has taught me so much about life, about how to see things like God wants us to see them and for that I'm so thankful. We didn't want to rip him out of the place that has helped us to mold him into the person he is. We don't want to regress or lose any of the things he has learned and so willingly grasped onto.

But momma and daddy's souls are needing something more. I can't sit back and watch bad things happen right in front of my eyes anymore. I can't be a part of that. I can't continue to give my tithe to something I don't think might be used for God's purposes, and I absolutly cannot sit still and think that the next Sunday School class might not be as loving or nurturing for Brycen... b/c afterall, I don't even really KNOW these people. We have prayed and prayed about this decision and for God to lead us in the direction He wants us, to place us where we can serve for His purpose and grow in Him, and continue to have such a little Jesus Lover in our little man!

This coming Sunday we will be making the switch... hoping to find our "fit." So all you that might happen to be at Berea in Cannelburg this Sunday will be seeing our little family & my growing belly. If I look nervous... I am :)

I know my posts have been lengthy lately, and for that I am sorry! I guess I consider this my own little journal and I want to be able to print things out, so Brycen knows what was going on in his life, things he won't remember. Soo, if things are too tedious or boring- I totally understand :)

I also wanted to share one of Brycen's many funny things he says. I think I might add a section on this page of funny quotes that he says so I can remember them all. I saw that on someones page once and it was really neat. Anyway, we were talking about Heaven & Hell on Sunday... I asked Brycen, "Brycen, what did Jesus do for us.", He said, "died.", "Very good baby, that's right, so what do we need to do to get to Heaven to be w/ Jesus some day?", Brycen said, "Let him in our hearts and ask forgivness for sins.", "yes baby that's right, I'm so proud of you, I love you so much. Do you know what happens if people don't ask Jesus into their heart and ask forgivness for their sins??" In response Brycen says, "Yah, Mom they get fired down there (points to the ground)."
(okay, so we have tried to explain a little about hell to him, but I thought the "fired" comment was just too cute!) :)