Yesterday was a crazy day. B had pre-school and they had a teddy bear tea party where they got to take their favorite teddy bear to school, b/c they are learning about bears this week. He was so excited about it. When I picked him up he said, "that tea was delicious, it tasted like blueberries, because bears like berries" lol. He just cracks me up. 
his teacher sent me this picture of him and his bear at the tea party. he is such a cheeser!
After I picked him up we had to go to Jasper to get a copy of my birth certificate for the cruise. My mom just knows she has mine somewhere, but can't find it in the safe with the others (hers, my dads, and brothers) so I figured I better just get a copy of it. Then we had to run to the license branch and get B's ID card made and me a new license b/c my address was still wrong on mine. Then we went home for just a little bit and the pampered chef consultant came over to pick up a few things that were hers she had ordered. I went to tan (trying to get a base tan so I don't get fried out on the ocean on the cruise!). When I got home it was time to get ready to go to small group. We sang at the nursing home in Loogootee last night. I hope those old people are couldn't hear me, b/c I'm quite possible THE WORST singer ever! I love to sing, but I'm TERRIBLE... and I'm NOT exaggerating either! It was fun and I love elderly people so I really enjoyed talking to them afterward. We got home earlier last night then normal from group and that was nice to have a couple hours to relax. I was in a much better frame of mind last night about things... Thanks to Rhoda-- who is always such an encourager to me. I needed it last night. I was feeling great about everything, but this morning I woke up in a down mood (and work has certainly not helped things today). I'm just being real with you guys today. I woke up just feeling helpless, like we're never going to get pregnant just basically down about everything. I'm letting the past (the 13 months of trying for Andon) come back and make me nervous and upset about starting to try again. I know that negative feelings don't help the situation, but honestly, it's just hard. My conversation last night was about this and Rhoda had me feeling good and back to "normal" when I left. The devil HATES when we are joyful. He hates when we do put all our trust in God and let Him control our lives. I know that this morning he is trying to steal my joy and make me doubt God's plan for my life. I know that I will have down days, but I will not doubt His plan. I will trudge through the ick and the down days and will come out on the brighter side of things. It's hard right now because one minute I'm feeling great and hopeful about life and the next I'm feeling down and worrying about the future. I hate being so up and down. I'm not telling ya'll this so anyone will feel sorry for me, I don't want that. I just want anyone else who is going through this to realize that they aren't alone. I also want all of you to pray for me. I know that prayer works.
Tonight Ryan has to work late once again. B & I are going to my brothers PAC (conference meet) at Gibson Southern. Hopefully it won't rain on us!
11 comments:
I'm praying for you Chelsa! I think it takes a lot to just say the words that are heavy on your heart! I know God is listening sweetie!
Chelsa just try and keep your hope high! I don't know what it feels like but I pray for you frequently. Just think your cruise is almost here!! Relax and have fun on it. I know you guys will have a great time. That oil I used was called MotionEaze. The workers also carried motion sickness pills with them and gave them to us for free. Just in case.
Chelsa you sound like you are doing great-the fact that you even have "up" times is great considering what you have been through the last year and a half. Praying for God's will with your family. Maybe your cruise will help lift your spirits :)
Praying Jeremiah 29:11 over you!
"For I know the plans I have for you, Chelsa, declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you, Chelsa, and not harm you, Chelsa, plans to give you, Chelsa, hope and a future".
Claim God's Scripture in your Life Chelsa...that's what I try to do when I'm in a funk..and I put my name in the scripture to make it more real and personal.
Blessings to you!
Keep your head up girl...
I hope my email cheered ya up some :-) Too bad I didn't know ya'll were going to be @ GS tonight...that is my old stomping ground! Keep your head up and keep smiling & talk to ya later!
:-) Kali
Chelsa, I haven't had any time to read blogs since we brought Claire home, and tonight I made the time... Reading your blog brought back memories of those sleepless night where I doubted God's plan for my life. I would command myself to trust HIM, but I knew that deep down I was scared about what the future might hold. I pictured God holding me in His arms and telling me that He has it all under control! Claire is the result of letting God control our life. His rewards are AMAZING! God has great big plans for you and Ryan too... hang in there. When God's plan is played out, you will look back with amazement at what He brought you through to fulfill His PERFECT plan! And I can only imagine His eternal reward in Heaven... where we will see our babies again!
Yeah 100# I was like I dont think so. I so far am weight in less than what I did when I got pregnant so hopefully I dont go over 30 pounds or so. I dont think those few extra pounds you have hanging on are hurting you dear!! You look fab!!!
Susie is right! Remember Jer 29:11! Its so true! God loves you so much and has saw you through such a difficult time. He knows just what is best for you and just the right timing for you guys. God bless you!
Aw thanks! We will see how brave I am when its time!! I edited my post just now cause I thought maybe I was coming across a little harsh on C-sections. I wrote a little something about you at the bottom ;-)
You aren't alone in how you are feeling! It's amazing how much the Devil tries to come in and destroy us. Hugs to you!
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