Show Us Where You Live- Master Bedroom

Well, before you look, just take note that a lot of things have changed in our room since these pictures were taken (April 2008). We have went from a full size bed to a king size. We have a different bedding set (and I have actually put on the bed skirt this time). The wall colors are still the same, but we have a few more decorations on the wall.... Why didn't I take pictures last night or today? Um... well, it TOTALLY slipped my mind. oops :)... but I still want to participate... and you can kind of get a feel for it anyway.
This is what you see when you look in the door. There is now a decoration thing hanging above Ryan's chest of drawers.

This is what it looks like standing in the little corner that leads to the bathroom.

This is what it looks like standing from my corner of the room. (that orange thing hanging from the ceiling fan is something B made at pre-school and wanted to hang there... I'm pretty sure it is still there. lol)

This is the Uppercase Living I have above my dresser, which is to the right when you walk in the door. I love this saying, because it is so true!

Well, Thank you for stopping by to see our bedroom.
Head on over to Kelly's to see the other rooms!

P.S. Thank you for all of you who have been praying for me. I can feel it. I'm doing a little better, but still anxious... lots of things to be anxious about.... :)

Please Pray for Me...

I hate being vague, but please pray for me. I am dealing w/ some terrible anxiety about some stuff right now and I really need some peace. I have verses running through my head all day, but I'm still having a really tough time. I'm on the verge of tears pretty much all day and it's taking it's toll on me.

Please, if you have a minute just stop and ask God to give me some peace and to take care of us... he knows our needs.

Thanks so much.

Show Us Where You Live-- Laundry Room

I am not a fan of our laundry room. It has a 1/2 bath in it? Weird? I think so... We have never done anything to it since we moved in... besides hanging a sign on the wall that says "laundry". No paint. No nothing. I dispise it. Everytime I get ready to paint in here Ryan tells me no... darn husbands :) . Obviously I can't move the washer and dryer out myself and he says that is too much work for just a little paint when we have other stuff to do, SOOO here is my plain jane, butt ugly, despised laundry room... but on the bright side of things, I have working, only a few years old, washer and dryer... i don't have to go down to the creek or anything ;) sooo all ideas welcome and if you suggest a paint color-- i'll share it with ryan, safety in numbers!! hehe.

Looking in from the doorway... the half bath part... the cabinet is old and trashy... so is the toliet... the shelves beside the cabinet don't match? and we never got around to changing the ugly switch plates. you know the sad thing is, i do like the trashcan in here... you can't really see it though... excuse the happy feet movie playing in the mirror :) hehe

washer and dryer area... where the dirty work gets done :) it's so cluttered on the shelves, i wish they had doors... i can barely reach them so i just kind of shove the stuff back up there. and we have no where else to keep the vacuum. OBNOXIOUS.

anyway- that's my laundry room. help me people :)

200th Post... Talk for Antioch...

I cannot believe it is my 200th post... I talk too much :). It seems like it was just my 100th post! haha. Anyway, I thought that I would go ahead and post what I spoke about on video for Antioch. (sorry for anyone who goes there, you might not want to go ahead and read it, or you might want to and just ignore the video, b/c it is quite possible I look silly!).

They asked me to address 3 questions. I will type those out and then give you my answer so it all makes sense.

When is a time in my life when I have had to totally lean on God?

*In June 2007, my husband Ryan and I decided we were ready to have another child. I never dreamt that it would be anything but easy to have another baby. Boy was I wrong! We tried and tried and tried some more- it just wasn't happening. Anyone who has had to try for a baby knows how each month is a roller coaster of emotions while you are trying to conceive. The only that that got me through each month & each disappointment was God's promise . Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD,"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope & a future".

Eight months into the trying, and when I say trying, I mean trying every trick in the book. Anything you've heard of, we tried! After all that we found out I was expecting. I cannot explain the joy that I felt. I was praising God more than ever before. He had answered my prayers and I knew he had heard all my pleas. We told everyone we knew. I was so light-hearted, finally, after eight months of fears & doubts. One week later, at 5 weeks pregnant I started spotting. I had a miscarriage on Valentines Day 2008. I was so lost. I once again clung to scripture. Romans 8:28 says "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love, who have been called according to his purpose." I remember going over and over this in my head. I also still put my hope in Jeremiah 29:11 because I know I can trust God and his promises to me.

We started trying again right away. It just wasn't happening for us. I went for a check up in late June. The doctor agreed it was time to start testing to see if there was a specific thing keeping us from having a successful pregnancy. We were to start that testing on July 9th, On July 6th, 2008 we found out we were expecting once again. Wow, what a "God thing"! We were ecstatic, but also this time we were nervous, we knew anything could go wrong. The first 12 weeks were nerve-wracking, each day I had to wake up and give it to God. In October we found out we were having another precious little boy. We chose his name and started calling him Andon. On Monday February 2, 2009 my blood pressure started rising. I called the doctor. and they told me to rest and come in to my appointment the next day.

I never made it to that appointment. I woke up in the early morning of February 3rd in excruciating pain. I didn't know what was wrong, but I knew it was bad. I kept blacking out. We got to the hospital and they hooked me up to a monitor- only to tell us our precious Andon had no heartbeat. I was crushed. I was then rushed to an emergency c-section while they worked to save my life. Andon was perfect. At only 34 weeks he was 5lbs and 5oz., 19 inches long, and had a head full of hair. My placenta had abrupted and I was bleeding to death internally. They were able, along with God's will, to save my life. I remember waking up hours later in ICU surrounded by friends and family and saying, "God has a bigger plan, it's ok." Looking back I know it was Him speaking through me b/c there is NO WAY that came from me alone.

Back in February I wrote on my blog, "So many people have said how strong I am... and because I want to be totally honest & really reflect me and my family and our faith and values, I want to tell you all... that I do not feel strong. I feel totally weak and helpless, but I also know that that's ok, because when I am at my weakest that's when God can really work on me. When I am weak and don't feel like I can do anything myself, that's when I have to rely on God the most, which is actually what he wants from us at all times. I went on to say I doubt I will ever know the reason that God wanted Andon back so soon... at least not while I'm on Earth... And that's ok. I am NOT strong. I know I don't have to be, God will be my strength.

I'm not here to tell you this has been easy, but it would be even worse if I didn't have God with me every step of the way. I'm thankful that we have a God who understands...he understands it all. No matter if what we are going through is big or small, no matter how trivial it is, God knows what is on our hearts--and he cares.

Question 2- How has God brought Victory through this?

*I'm not sure that I'm far enough out of this valley to see all of God's victories that have come from Andon's short life. I do feel that many people I know have grown closer to the Lord or even come to know the Lord for the first time after learning about Andon.

Honestly, some days I just want to cry. I want to say, "God I've had enough, I can't take anything else". Who better to understand than God? He gave up His only son for us, for me. He understands my heart ache, all of our heartaches.

I absolutely cannot fathom going through this and not having our Father here to fall into his arms and weep and know that this life isn't the end.

One huge victory is my own personal faith and relationship with Christ. I've had to learn that God is the only way, the only person that can me through. Before this I tried doing things on my own and if that didn't work, then I went to God. Now I go to Him first. I try not to live with in my life only when I need him, but live my entire life FOR HIM.

Question 3- What would I tell someone going through this?

*I would tell someone going through this to find a Christan mentor, someone who has walked the same road ahead of you. My cousin and his wife lost their twins 4 months before we lost Andon. They have been a huge inspiration and help to me. It helps to feel less alone when you have someone who has been there and who knows how you feel.

I would also tell you to let yourself feel the emotions that come. God gave us feelings for a reason. I've learned a lot about myself through my emotions. But you cannot get so lost or caught up in your emotion that you lose sight of God--always keep your eyes on Him, your eyes set on the ultimate goal, Heaven, where you will see your precious baby once again.

Update

I couldn't get these to post in the right order. Anyway, this is B with his Harley Jacket he got today!

the tattoo is compliments of his uncle joe. it's a "b" :)

B w/ his cake he made for uncle joe's 19th birthday

brycen's new hang out:)

it's really cute!

I have not been very good at updating about day to day happenings lately.

Friday evening Rich & Melissa & the boys came for supper and to visit for awhile. It was a nice evening, pretty relaxing.

Saturday morning I had a massage! It was my first time ever. I had gotten a gift certificate for Christmas and hadn't had a chance to use it yet... it was about to expire so I thought I better go. It was so nice! Sonya, my sis-n-law went with me. Afterward, we went to Applebee's for lunch. When I got home I helped Ryan outside w/ more landscape edging. It was so hot and sticky outside! After we were done with that we got cleaned up and all three of us went to Wal-Mart and then to Scoops :). When we got home we had supper (yes, we had ice cream & then supper!). Then we went to play tennis! Otwell elem. is only about 5 min. from our house and they have a pretty nice tennis court so we went there and played. The playground is right by the tennis court so B got to play on the toys while we played tennis. He also got to hit around with us for awhile. He thought he was so cool! He actually didn't do half bad. Ryan and I both played tennis in school so hopefully we'll be able to teach him. They say tennis is a "life sport" b/c you can play at any pace. Lol, I know my pace is a lot slower than it was 5 years ago! haha. Anyway, we had a really good time and we're hoping to do a lot of playing tennis this summer.

Sunday we went to church and then over to Ryan's parents for lunch and to visit. When we got home B & I made a cake for my brother's birthday which we celebrated Sunday night at my parents house.

It was a pretty relaxing weekend and I was glad for that.

Yesterday I was super busy at work. I came home and had so much laundry and house work to do. Ryan got the yard mowed last night and I worked on the house... it seems never-ending... maybe I'm a little too obsessive-compulsive about the house, but I literally cannot sit still if there is stuff to do, it drives me crazy until I get up and do it.

This morning I wanted to stay in bed. I love to sleep when it's storming. Work was crazy again today! B was at my moms. He is staying there this summer. He absolutly loves staying with her and my grandma. today they went to Evansville. He got a new leather Harley Jacket.... and when they asked him where he wanted to eat lunch he said "red lobster"... oh my! We laughed and said we can't let my dad see it b/c he will think B needs a Harley already :)

This post is pretty boring... but I wanted to update!

Tonight my mom, Vanessa, and I are going to Melissa's Thirty-One party. Tomorrow is "the big day". I'm going to Antioch (just to clairfy something I think some misunderstood on my last post about this, is that I do not attend Antioch) to record my testimony. It speaks about my struggle with infertility, my miscarriage, and losing Andon. My parents do go to church at Antioch and that's how I know their pastor, Keith. He is a pretty great guy and I really respect him. He asked me last week if I would be interested in telling my story, about how through hard times, God has still been faithful, and shown himself through these circumstances. I am praying that the words I have prepared are the words that God wants me to share. I hope that glory will be given to God over this. I don't want Andon's life to be in vain and I feel that by sharing his story, our story, maybe someone can get closer to God, or even accept Jesus as their Savior. I will get around to posting it on here... but I'm still a little shy ;)

Anyway, please if you think about it say a prayer that God will speak through me tomorrow while I'm speaking on the video. I'll let ya know how it goes :)

Show Us Where You Live Friday--Bathrooms

Well, I missed last week's tour of office's b/c I was gone on vacation... and anyway we don't really have an "office". I do most of our "office" work sitting on the couch or the floor in the family room. lol. I sit at a desk all day at work, so when I get home the last thing I want to do is sit at a desk to pay bills or whatever else you do in an "office". So this week we are onto bathrooms at the hometour that Kelly is hosting each week. If you haven't checked it out yet I would suggest you do so. There are still a few weeks left and it is really fun to see other's people rooms! I will mention beforehand that I dislike all of our bathrooms. We have 2 1/2, but I'm just showing the 2 bathrooms today b/c our 1/2 bathroom is in our laundry room (which is next week). I think that's a weird place for a bathroom, but I didn't build the house so whatever! Our bathrooms are tiny, which irritates me! We have updated both of them, b/c one was completely green and the other completely blue. The blue lagoon aka-the one in our master bedroom still isn't all the way finished... and yes, sweet hubby did start this project back in October... all he has to do is finish sealing the sink now that just somehow always gets pushed to the back of the to do list. Our new house plans (ryan did go ahead and draw them up just in case the boy is able to buy our house in the fall) has much larger bathrooms and I know I will be so glad about that!

This is the hall bath. It was the green one. Oh yah, and the bathrooms had carpet... ew. Little boys and carpet in bathrooms DO NOT mix! Uppercase Living does not mix with painted tile either... well it would if you didn't try to take it off and reposition it... oops :( The paint needs touched up above the toliet now. Ryan surprised me while I was going to AZ in January of '08 and had this bathroom redone when I came home! Awww :)

This wreath hangs above the toliet... it came from Olde Country Barn. I got it with a gift certificate that I got from judging some cheer tryouts :)

My mom got a basket and did this in her bathroom when I was still living at home and I always loved it... so I stole the idea once we got married. This basket actually came inside another one as a "bonus" it they fit perfect! It looks kind of silly b/c I just put a new box in and it is overflowing, but we are snotty people at our house and kleenex goes fast. haha :)

This picture came from... where else, but The Olde Country Barn! lol. I kept looking at it, but wasn't gone to spend 30.00 on it! Finally one day I was in there looking and it was on the clearance table! Awesome! I got it for 8.00!

I got this shower curtain on sale for 5.00... it was the complete set w/ the soap holder and toothbrush holder. I love deals if you can't tell. I'm really over this bathroom and have been wanting to redecorate, but like I said we are trying to not spend money on this house since we don't know if we will be staying... so I'll wait and see.

Sorry for the glare and I don't know why my mirror looks dirty b/c it's not, but anyway. Ryan made the medicine cabinet and we got new light globes. We really like these and you'll see them again in our master bath (if you can even call it that).
Cabinet that Ryan redid as well. He's handy :)

This is looking into our tiny masterbath. The shower is BLUE, the whole bathroom used to be blue (cabinet, sink, toliet, etc) it was TERRIBLE. I covered up the blue shower with the shower curtain.
Uppercase Living above the toliet. I want to get another wreath or a picture or something to go underneath here, but I haven't really looked or found anything I want yet.

Our new WHITE toliet. lol. We also have a new toliet paper holder, but it's still in the box- go figure haha. That door beside the toliet is a linen closet.
medicine cabinet Ryan made and the same light globes you saw in the other bathroom... excuse me in the mirror.

Ryan hasn't sealed the sink that's why the drain isn't in there... we can't use it yet... He said he will get it done this weekend... he is SUCH a procrastinator :) I'm not sayin gthat to be mean, he has done lots of other things for me. I def. tease him about this though! Brycen's little foam animals on the sink?

and the vanity. They are the same b/c he just re did these... this used to be BLUE w/ carpet up the side and no i'm not lying haha. The knobs aren't on the doors yet either.

Well, thanks for visiting our humble little bathrooms... they are small, but get the job done ;)

Cruise to the Caymen Islands-BWI= AMAZING!

These two pictures above got out of order somehow! This post has a major picture overload and will probably be super long!

B on the way. He is honestly the most amazing traveler ever. He did not cry or complain ONE time, not even once. I was so proud of him! The trip there he only slept for an hour and half too. I have to admit, he did watch a lot of movies. :) We left Sunday morning (the 31st) at the butt-crack of dawn... had to stop A LOT b/c my brother was sick... we made it safely to Tampa after stopping at a yummy Texas Roadhouse for supper. We booked an amazing hotel SUITE online on the way for only FORTY-EIGHT dollars for the night-- I would totally recommend people doing this! We were lucky b/c our hotel was only three miles for the port. We got up and had a wonderful breakfast buffet at the hotel, made a quick trip to Walmart and then off to the port to go through customs and get on the ship... that was quite the job, trying to keep 10 people altogether. We were freaking out b/c Taylor left his passport in his bag and they checked his bag and then my brother left his license in his bag. it was a mess! We finally made it through customs and gave them a hard time all week! :)

Ryan, B, and I before we left our hotel in Tampa

After we got on the ship we got ready to go swimming/go to the waterpark area right away! It was so fun leaving port- I love that vacation is here feeling! hehe. We had a safety meeting and then it was back to more fun in the sun.


This was during the safety talk on the ship, he was so wiped out he fell asleep!

Brycen loved the hot tub.

Before we knew it we needed to be getting ready for dinner. We literally had 30 min. to all shower and get ready and make it to dinner. WHEW what a rush! None of us had watches with us so we had no idea what time it was (which I actually loved!).

Ryan, Brycen, and I at dinner the first night.

After dinner we went to a show and then B and I headed to bed pretty early. We were sooo tired. Ryan went to watch a comedy show w/ my dad then.

The next morning we got up around 8am and had breakfast and then went to the water park area. I read most of the day :) B played on the waterslides/sprinklers and Ryan layed out w/ me for awhile and took B putt-putting and then did his own thing around the ship w/ my dad.

B at the put putt course

B going down the waterslide!

in the sprinklers

B and Uncle Joe :)

We had the Captains Dinner that night (elegant night?). Food was amazing every night, but on this night they had lobster... Ryan thought he had died and went to Heaven! haha :)

B and his girlfriend Cory! He told her if she got another boyfriend to just kick him :) haha

the short... and tall of it :) my brother and i

my parents. my dad hates having his picture taken (as you can see!) lol

our waiter LOVED brycen :) i think the affection was mutual b/c he brought B as many bowls of jello as he wanted... one night he ate FIVE... and they weren't small either!

After dinner was another show... this one was a dancing show and it was really cute.

Ryan and I before the show started.

my brother and i at the show.

each night we would go back to our room to find a towel animal :)

On Wednesday we got up and were in the port of Grand Caymen Island:BWI. We decided to do a tour the first day so we picked swimming w/ the stingrays, visiting hell (it's a town), and going to a sea turtle farm.

The stingrays were huge. Some of them were up to 5ft. across look at those stingers too!

Ryan, and B with the stingrays on their bellies :) It was amazing! This was actually worth the whole trip Ryan and I think! They were super friendly... a little slimy, but it was an awesome experience.

The water was gorgeous! Where it gets dark is a HUGE drop off. It is the Caymen Trench which is the deepest trench in the world. I thought that was interesting.


my momma and i with a starfish!

my little cutie patootie w/ the starfish!

This sign was in the town of "hell". The town was called that b/c no vegetation grew there up until like 10 years ago.

Us 3 with the sea turtles!

B with the sea turtle! He really did love vacation-- you can tell by his face here!

so beautiful- i could sooooo live here!

wearing our cousin brookie's shades!

B and I at lunch at Margaritaville! We were sooo wiped out in this picture!

Ryan took a picture of all of us, but he cut off brooke and taylor

He loves his uncle joe sooo much!

After our tour and a very late lunch... or an early supper, whatever you want to call it then we did a little shopping.

B w/ a huge pirate. He thinks they are cool :) He got to see a "real" pirate ship :)

We took tender boats back and forth to the shore from our ship b/c the port isn't big enough for a big cruise ship to dock.

I took this on our tender ride.

After we got back to the ship we all took naps and then had a late supper. It was the only night we didn't eat in the big dining room. We went to a magic show that night. Brycen LOVED that! He talked about it the rest of the week.

Thursday morning we got up and ate breakfast and caught a tender back to the Island again. We did a little shopping in the morning and then went to the beach to relax for a few hours before we had to be back to the ship to start cruising back.


B at the Harley Store :) He is a Papaw's boy for sure when it comes to this!

B & I outside one of the stores!

Us three by the ocean!

B-- he loved playing in the water!


He said he was "surfing" lol

After the beach we went back and got ready for dinner.

He was so wiped out he fell asleep at dinner covered up w/ the tablecloth :)

Ryan, me, Our Head Waiter, Brycen, Assistant Waiter, and Gran :)

After Dinner my mom wanted to get family pictures to put in her Christmas Cards

~MY FAMILY~ *Dad, Joe, Ryan, Mom, B, and I

we took lots of pictures and Brycen was SOOO done! lol

After we took pictures we went and sat down on the deck and just talked.

Friday ALL DAY we hung out at the waterpark on the ship again. It was way less crowded than the pool. I read all day and B played in the sprinklers. Ryan was back and forth. Him and my dad couldn't sit still. lol. They went to the deportation meeting so we would know what to do the next day. That night we just sat by the pool again and looked out the ship. We saw hundreds of dolphins, it was AMAZING!

Saturday morning we had to be up bright and early. We got up and ate breakfast and waited for them to call our number to get off the ship. We got our luggage and got out of there pretty quickly! We left Tampa by 10:30am.

He was a big helper w/ his own luggage!

We were making great time on the way home until we were in a wreck right outside of Atlanta on I-75. We were thankfully all okay. My neck and back are sore and I need to get to the chiropractor. I was driving and saw it coming and so I stiffened up and ended up getting a little whiplash. We got rear ended. The other persons car was torn up pretty bad, but my car was actually ok! I have a hitch underneath my car and they had a little car so their front end went under my car and just hit my hitch. Whew! We had to wait on the police officer and everything took forever! We were there for at least 2 hours. It was burning up hot too! We ended up not getting home until 3:30 a.m. We were WORN OUT! It was a fabulous vacation though!