God keeps bringing one thing back to my mind... "Be still and Know that I am God". With everything in me I Know that He is God, but it is the "be still" part that I need to work on. My mind seems to go 1000 miles an hour in about 1000 different directions all day long. I think about Andon, I think if we will be able to have more kids, I think if this will happen again, I think about Heaven, I just think think think... about things I wish I didn't have to be thinking about. And always, I come back to "Be Still and Know that I am God".
Ultimately, it doesn't matter how many different things or scenarios I go over and over and over in my head, because God already knows the big picture. He already knows the whole story. He already has our lives written... He knew before we were even here. I believe this with my whole heart, sometimes though it's easier to believe then to live that out.
So... I'm trying, trying really hard to catch myself when I can't quit thinking and hoping and wishing about the past... and the future... and I'm trying really hard just to "be still...".
I know eventually that God will reveal more of His plan for my life, I'm just not very good at waiting...
13 comments:
I went through that too and I found that I was getting really stressed. So every morning I get up before Crystal and start w/exercising. You can't dwell on the things you are thinking because it will drive you nuts. Take each day at a time and enjoy. I was told to write every night. So I did and when I look back it's amazing how when I think I couldn't explain my feelings I actually was when I wrote. Hang in there, talk about your baby and smile :-). It's hard...but it really helps!!
:-) Kali
Me either, I hate waiting. God has taught me SO much through waiting for things though. Im sure he has amazing things ahead for you my dear!!!
It's probably one of the hardest things I struggle with as a Christian; to be still. When I want something, I want it now! I want answers, I want whatever it is at that time, and I want it fast!
Keep praying that he gives you patience....I know it's easier said than done....but with Him holding your hand ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!!!
Chelsa I feel the same way. I wonder if I will have to go through this again, and I dream of having a successful, wonderful, fattening pregnancy!! lol, I keep telling myself "it's all in HIS time". I know I wasn't as far along as you, but you are not alone in these feelings. I feel the exact same way!! Thank you for reminding me to "be still" as well!! I will continue to pray for you and know that I'm here if you need anything! I wish we cold get together... kinda hard when I'm 7 hours away!!! Love you!!
You are an amazing woman of God, and it seems as if your faith has already skyrocketed throughout your situation. I am a firm believer that the trials we go through are things that God wants us to help others with. I know that your story and your faith have already touched other women who have had miscarriages or are struggling with infertility. It doesn't matter how much faith you have, you are still going to think about things because you are going through a grieving process. I will be praying for a calmed head and heart.
I know what you mean when you talk about trying not to think about everything too much. Sometimes it is very hard to not wonder why this or that happened or what will happen. It can make you nervous, scared, frustrated, etc. But in the end we all know it doesn't help! Because just like you said God has his plans for us already...we just have to be still. I know talking to others helps me when I have things on my mind and I know blogging probably helps you too. And us bloggers are there for you girl. haha:) Take care Chelsa.
I'm not a big fan of the waiting :)
praying for you.
Chelsa, you are such an inspiration to me. I look forward to reading your comments on my blog after every new post. I continue to tell myself to wait and be patient. God does have a plan, and as Ashley said, anxiety doesn't help matters... but... it's so hard! Some days I do really good, and other days I really struggle. I think about you every day, and I am praying for you and your family.
I know it is so hard to wait!! I am goin through something right now that I am not wanting to wait on but I just have to remind myself that God is in control and he knows ours hearts and what we want. We just have to trust in him and he will see us through. You and your family are still in my prayers.
I love what you said - "sometimes it's easier to believe than to live out" So true, so true. I talk big talk about waiting on God and being in His will but to actually DO that? Well, that's another story.
Hang in there, hon. You're just taking one moment at a time and that's all you can do.
Its great that you are holding on to God's word. That same verse about being "still" has helped me time and time again.
The small group about love languages sounds very interesting. Please update me on how it goes!
Still thinking about you and lifting you to the Lord. In light of your situation, other friends losing loved ones, and my own issues with my parents I just keep wishing Jesus would make an appearance soon!
I came across your blog and believe that God led me to it. My husband and I lost our first two children due to miscarriage in one year. I too know the pain of a shattered heart, empty arms, the thoughts and questions. It took a long time before my heart started to heal. To this day it's still being stitched back together by God's grace and mercy, and its been 4 years. If you ever need listening ears and an understanding heart, I'm here. I had no one to talk to through my grief, and wish that I had.
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