Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Walk

I had posted earlier that my friend L and her sweet family were walking in memory of Andon on this past Saturday. She sent me a couple pictures and I just had to share them with ya'll! I'm so touched by her sweetness and generosity. It is amazing to see how many people have had a loss so similiar... I just had FIVE families come to my mind just now... and if I thought harder about it I could come up with more, that I know personally. It makes my heart hurt that that many people have hurt as bad as I hurt. I also know that each of those five families have hope in Jesus Christ, I absolutly cannot fathom going through a loss like this and not having our Father to fall into His arms and weep and know that this isn't the end.
They bought balloons in memory of each baby to let off... reminds me of all the people that let balloons go in Andon's name around Valentines day when Courtney did the blog memorial for us.


Leilanni and her sweet girls Ellie & Caroline (aren't they adorable?!) at the walk!

I did receive some more bad news this morning... my great aunt toots (that's what they call her, i have no idea why!) passed away around midnight. About a month ago they found out she had cancer and she was to start treatments this week... that wasn't meant to be, she went to be with Jesus. I'm sad. Believe me, I'm so sad... but I don't have any tears left to cry anymore. I sort of feel like I'm becoming "hard" to all this sadness around me... or I guess maybe you call that denial. My heart hurts for her 3 kids and her grandkids because I'm sure this seems so sudden. One day she was (seemingly) healthy and the next she is gone. I feel like our family is just being attacked these past almost 3 (i can't believe that it's been that long) months... I am sick of death and caskets and funerals... But I know Satan wants me to give up, he wants me to get depressed and doubt God, but I won't. I can't.

4 comments:

Abbie said...

I love you, Chels! I just love your courage, your determination to stand strong against Satan! Keep standing steadfast in the Lord! I'm praying, girl!!

Brittany Janae said...

Satan likes to stand over us while we're already weak, but God's mercies are new every morning!...Keep your head up:)I believe in you.

TheButterfly2 said...

Oh sweety! My heart hurt so much for you when I read this post. I can somewhat identify with your feeling of being "hard" or basically just kind of spent because there has just been so much going on for your family. Our family has faced over a year of that now, just one thing after another after another after another until you are so sapped of strength you don't know how to get up some mornings. But God IS a God of hope and a God who gives us grace to carry on. He is here even in the hurt. I know that can sound cliche but I know for me it helps to think of the actual WAYS he is here. Like the prayers of friends and family or in my daughters smile or hug or all those little blessings and uplifting moments we are given through other people...that's God with skin on! You are in my thoughts and prayers Chels! Know that you are loved!

Leilanni said...

It was such a privilege to do this walk in Andon's memory :-)

So, so sorry for the loss of your great aunt. Will be praying for your whole family as you face yet another trial. Hang in there - just stand and I'll be praying that the Lord will fight for you.